WTF is healing?
I don’t know.
It’s been 5 years and it still hurts so fucking much when I look at pictures of you.
I always feel sad around this time of year.
Don’t say you’re sorry.
You don’t have to be sorry, just know that I get this way at the end of October…
Now that I’ve shared my experience of loss, how I felt in the moment, I want to take some time to discuss and explore the After.
We like to say that everyone processes loss differently, but is that really true? I doubt it. I doubt that anything we experience is entirely unique. And that, my friends, is a damn good thing—because it means you are not alone…
I remember the night that I found out Theo had died. The scene around me is sketched out in high intensity detail. Sharp, crystalline. Set. Each element remains in my mind, unchanged, embodying the permanence of the loss itself…
The idea is to write something every day, quickly, without fretting too much over words or taking any time to edit; just let the words flow in a stream of consciousness! I’ll see if they give me a story, a lyric, a poem. It doesn’t matter. If it blossoms into something fuller later that’s fine, but it’s ok if they remain fragments. Life is made up of fragments. Some of them become stories and some of them are just pieces of a larger story. Some fragments are singular moments in time. Forgettable or life changing they all have their place. -Lorelei Moon